Dry

Once again, that's how I find myself feeling about blogging.

Dried up.  Nothing left to give.

No direction, no inspiration, no motivation.

It seems to have happened to a lot of bloggers who began in the 3-10-years-ago window like I did.  Those whose blogs were begun solely for the purpose of keeping far-reaching family apprised of what was going on in their day-to-day lives have switched to Facebook.  It's much quicker and simpler.

A handful who had a distinct purpose and who posted daily managed to carve a niche for themselves in their particular circle of interest. Their sites have been maintained consistently and continue to grow in popularity, but so many are websites now, not just blogs anymore.  You no longer feel like you're visiting with a friend; your comments ~ if you still leave any ~ are tucked away among the hundreds on any given post. Many have regular guest writers, sponsors, and all manner of advertising on their sites.  They've reached celebrity status, becoming conference speakers, televised kitchenistas, and/or published authors, having a daily following that numbers in the thousands.

And then there are the countless masses like me who never really had a mandate for their blogs.  It started as a whim. Some of it was our daily lives, some of it was deep thinking, faith-related stuff; sometimes we posted recipes or ranted about our pet peeves.  A little of this, a little of that, and a few pictures of kids and sunsets thrown into the mix. These blogs seem to be dwindling as we try to figure out why we're doing it and if it's worth the effort.

Most, myself included, claim we blog for personal reasons ~ to get our thoughts down in writing.  For cathartic or therapeutic reasons.  It's "all of the above" for me. It's a place for me to record and sort through what's going on in my heart and my mind and my life at any given time.

And yet, as the postings get fewer and further between ~ sacrificed for the speed and ease of status updates and photo captions on Facebook ~ and the visitors and commentors slowly but steadily disappear due to the irregularity, I find myself falling out of love with blogging all over again.

Let's face it:  if it was really just for personal reasons, my blog wouldn't be open to the whole wide world.  It's there because I want a response.  I want validation.  I want compliments on my pictures; I want someone to agree that my kids say the funniest things; I want affirmation that I have made the right decision; I want human confirmation that I am growing spiritually.

It's vanity.

I should be having more conversations in real life with my family and friends.  If I want to keep them in the know, I should pick up the phone and talk to them.  Or have them over for coffee.  And this is not the first time I've mentioned here that I think my real life relationships have suffered since I turned to blogging as a means of communication.

I don't know what to do with my blog.  I hardly ever really write anymore, and yet I want a place to do so occasionally.  I don't want to care if there's a response or not, but I can't quite bring myself to disable the comments or quit linking posts to Facebook for greater exposure.

I believe it will come down to a decision, rather than a response to a feeling of direction...

And I think it will happen soon.