i'd like some cheese with that....

Wow.

I just browsed through my last several posts and I have to admit, I'm amazed you've stuck with me through all this whining. It's gone on almost the whole month!

Whining about weight. Whining about winter. Whining about not having what I want. Whining about not being who I'd like to be. Whining about weight again....

Sheesh.

I never would have thought of myself as a whiner, but there it is in black and white!
Can't really dispute it now, can I?!

So how can I possible balance this out, I asked myself. How can I make up for all the bitching and complaining I've done over the last few weeks? Is it even possible?!

Yes.

Yes, it is.

Just watch this:

Haha, I LOVE how you can actually hear him come to a screeching halt!! That totally kills me! I really could watch that a hundred times and still laugh!!!

Have a great weekend y'all ~ and I PROMISE....

No whining in March!!

PS. Dan, I'm pretending that's YOU doing the faceplant and me laughing behind the camera. Because I didn't get the opportunity to throw something at you...

i c-c-can't-t-t t-type p-p-prop-pp-erly bec-c-cause i'm s-s-o ST-ST-STINK-KIN' C-C-COLD!!!

B-back down into the extreme d-deep-freeze we go, it would s-seem.

We were doing relatively well there for a while ~ even had a few days of melting at the beginning of the month! ~ but now....

Not.

MINUS THIRTY-STINKIN'-SIX

this morning.

-36!!

The breath of a breeze brought us to down to -40.

Which is the same on the Fahrenheit and Celsius scales.

I'm not sure you can fully grasp how thankful I am for a woodstove!

I may be camping beside it in the basement for a good part of the day.
And, from the looks of things, for the next couple of days, too.

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weighing in on lent

Ah, here we are again ~ weigh-in day.

No change. {sigh}

Are you getting tired of me complaining about this? Yeah, you and me BOTH!!

I remembered just yesterday that today ~ Ash Wednesday ~ marks the beginning of the Lenten Season. A season devoted to identifying with the sufferings of Christ through sacrifice. Many people choose to give up things like chocolate, junk food, pop/cola, or non-food habits like computer or TV.

What will I give up this season? Growing up in a church that didn't spend much time on the observance of Lent, this is a relatively new concept to me. I've toyed with the idea for the last few years, but this year I'd really like to give it a try. I just can't decide what to give up.

I should maybe have fasted and prayed about which direction God would have me take.

Instead, I polished off the last bag of Creamy Dill chips. YUM.

But I did pray...

I'm still waiting for an answer. Actually, no, I think I have the answer, but I've been fighting it. Desperately. Trying in vain to offer something else to God instead. I begged, I bartered, I cried, but nothin.' All to no avail. He seems fairly intent on having me give up the one thing. Heck, I even offered to give up carbs or Facebook! But no...

He kept drawing my mind back to General Hospital.

Crud. And you know Sam and Jason are about to get back together, too, dang it! Now I'm gonna miss it.

I believe Lent is not only about sacrifice, but about developing spiritual disciplines and exercising our will-power. Building that muscle that in some of us {ehem} is so weak.

So I enter this 40-day season with a bit of disappointment at the prospect of missing my daily brain-rotting, moral-corroding indulgence, but with a renewed sense of purpose and the desire to not only see changes in my TV-watching habits, but in my eating habits as well. While I'm not specifically giving up any particular foods or food groups, I do intend to do a bit of sacrificing here, too.

Self-discipline is self-discipline. If I have it, it can be used in any of life's arenas.

Today is not only the dawn of the Lenten season, but also the beginning of a new challenge at The Sisterhood. Are you up for it? What are YOU willing to give up for the next 40 days?

thinking whining out loud. again. sorry.

UGH. Ever have those days (or maybe even weeks and months!) where you just wish you were someone else? SomeWHERE else?

I do.

I am. I wish I could spend a few months backpacking through Europe to "find myself."

('Cause I'm pretty sure that's where I could be found.)

((Especially once I got there.))

How does a 36-1/2 year old wife and mother "find herself" when she simply can't take a solitary vacation? Is it even possible?! I really do think I could benefit from some "finding me" time, but I have kids and responsibilites and all that other cr@p. {whine, whine, whine}

Is that really the reason, or just an excuse?

I've been taking stock of my life over the last few weeks and it feels like I'm coming up short. I start things but don't finish them. I make goals but lose interest in reaching them. I "resolve" to do better, but end up having to admit the resolution was really just wishful thinking. I have moments of inspiration and bursts of motivation, but they are all too few and far between.

I feel like I don't fit anywhere.

Including my clothing.

I'm not a great mother. My kids spend WAY too much time in front of the TV so that I can do the things I FEEL like doing, rather than the things I SHOULD be doing. {whine, whine, whine}

I'm not great at housekeeping. I've got weeks where it goes relatively well ~ when I'm disciplined enough to follow the FlyLady Beginner Baby Steps ~ but in the almost two months since I started trying to adhere to her plan, I haven't progressed beyond the "morning and evening routine" stage. I started a control journal, but it never got beyond a few scribbled-in-pencil pages in an old binder that, since the first two exciting weeks of our relationship, has sat untouched on the shelf above my computer monitor. {whine, whine, whine}

I'm not great at sticking to a Bible reading schedule. There too, I have weeks where I'm almost caught up, but for every one of those weeks, it seems, I'll have two where I don't spend any time at all in The Word or in conversation with God. I KNOW this isn't helping me find myself at all.

I'm not a library tech or a web designer. Both programs I started via distance ed and paid good money for (thankfully, just on a per course basis), but didn't come anywhere close to completing before that excitement wore off, too. The most recent revision to that plan was to devote myself to studying once Fidget started kindergarten this fall, but now that we're about as far in debt as the powers that be will allow in order to buy the business, it feels like the wiser and more fiscally responsible plan would be to try and find a job. Especially since it looks like there's a good possibility that kindergarten will suddenly be a full-time program here in The Valley.

(Which I'm not at all thrilled about, but I'll save that rant for another post ~ once I get my thoughts all coherently lined up and I've attending the information meeting next week.)

I worry about money a lot lately. Both as the company's bookkeeper and the CFO of our family. But it's mostly personal finances that have me concerned. It's giving me a mild case of depression and I find I'm just tired all the time and have even less ambition than usual. (Tough to imagine, I know!) {whine, whine, whine, WHINE, WHINE!!!!}

So, are we having fun yet?

I really don't mean to sound like such a whiner. I know things could be a lot worse. I know I have so much to be thankful for.

I know these "seasons" in our lives shape who we become in the future. I know we all ~ or at least the majority of us ~ have these seasons from time to time. I know there are many good things that have happened during this particular season and I expect there will be even more as a result of this season.

But I'm just ready for it to be over, you know?

I'm ready for things to start falling into place; for my life to start taking on some shape. (And for my body to LOSE a bit of its shape...)

I'm ready to feel like I'm actually headed in a particular direction instead of merely treading water. I'd like to feel at least somewhat goal-oriented!!

But most of all, I think I'm just ready to throw open the windows, let the warm, fresh air breathe sunlight into the house and put the spring back into my step.

I. am. so. stinkin.' ready. for. this. dang. winter. to. be. OVER!!!

The long dark months of auto-pilot are coming to a close and the real me is anxiously awaiting my return from hibernation. I might not be found backpacking through Europe, but I'm POSITIVE "myself" has been waiting to be found in the coming spring.

I can hardly wait to rejoin myself there!

can't hardly wait...

My Own Backyard

Dear Lord, when things get hectic
And living seems so hard,
I just go out and sit awhile,
Within my own backyard.
For there it's quiet and peaceful,
Beneath the shady trees,
And sunlight through the branches,
Accompanies every breeze.

There are a dozen shades of green,
Designed to please the eye,
Chubby squirrels and humming birds,
a golden butterfly....
The honeysuckle's perfume,
permeates the air.
And though I do not see Him,
I know that God is there.

The sky so high above my head,
Is an electric blue,
And there are lazy cotton clouds,
With nothing else to do,
But sail across the heavens,
And yet I know that I
Was given hope whose sturdy wings
were also meant to fly.

This old world we inhabit,
is much the worse for wear,
Beauty fades so quickly,
And hearts forget to care.
But somehow I've discovered,
Within my own backyard,
A peaceful sanctuary...
in which I find the Lord.

~Grace E. Easley

I miss you, Summer. Hurry back.

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so much for "lookin' fine!" {ugh}

I can't believe this challenge ends today. It was only 6 weeks, but still ~ winter's almost over now! WOO-HOO!!!

Well, okay, let's not get ahead of ourselves. We're still at least 4 weeks away from seeing significant melting. But considering winter starts in November in these parts, y'all, we are seein' the light at the end of the tunnel!!

Unfortunately, I did not do well in this challenge. I didn't fail completely, but pretty much. This last weekend with my parents certainly didn't help me with a strong finish!

I'm the same as last week, so that brings my total loss for this challenge to a whopping 2.4 pounds. {Sheeeesh}

I had almost decided I needed to go back to journalling and counting points à la Weight Watchers, but now I'm waiting for this book to arrive in the mail:

Susanne, my sweet southern bloggy friend, is working through it right now in partnership with a church group, led by Diet Free at Last blogger, and I really wish my book had arrived in time to join in as well.

I'll be several weeks behind, but the blog will remain up even once the group is finished with the study, so that will be good. From what I can tell, author Dee Brestin focuses primarily on re-learning exactly what moderation is and how to retrain ourselves to stick to it. A very novel approach. I'd encourage you to pop over and read the first couple of posts ~ Clean Sweep and Let's Get it Started ~ to get the idea.

So yeah. I did NOT do well with this challenge. I had two good weeks along the way, but having a good two weeks in each six isn't going to get me very far. Especially when the remaining four aren't exactly stellar in the maintenance department either!

I don't know about you, but I'm looking forward to doing better in the next challenge!


(at least that's what I'm telling myself!)

wow, it must suck to be a cat.

All that sleeping,

and snoozing,

and cat-napping,

and dozing...

Clearly, it's EXHAUSTING.

Have a happy weekend and a wonderful Valentine's Day, y'all!

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to say i'm a little unimpressed...

...would be a bit of an understatement. A little annoyed might fit better.

On Sunday morning, I was down a full two pounds from last Wednesday.

Probably mostly because Peanut was barfing on Friday night. Because I'm constantly wondering if I'll get sick, too, I usually have a couple of days where I'm not terribly interested in eating.

But this morning, I'm UP 0.6!! Very frustrating.

Oooo, that's the word I was looking for.

This coming week will be fraught with challenge in the weight-loss department. Not only is Saturday Valentine's Day ~ which, incidentally, will also be our

12th wedding anniversary!!

~ but my parents are coming out for the weekend, and you know how it is when you've got company. You cook more and you EAT more!

I was still planning/hoping to lose a total of 6# this challenge, which was already only about HALF my original goal of a minimum of 11.6#, but I dunno. I'm thinkin' 3# over the next week might just be a little unrealistic. Any other week, it might be possible, but with three days of company over the weekend.....

not likely.

it's a fine line...

...between brave...

...and just plain stupid.


I'll let you decide.




(But if you pick stupid, you have to keep your opinions to yourself!)

a li'l snowstorm on a rainy day

Yup, that's right. Rain.

In the dead of winter.

Not really something you want very badly. Our front step and sidewalk are pure, but invisible, ice. I can only imagine how exciting the roads must be. My husband and the other North Winds drivers are lovin' it, I'm sure. The Bushman figured they'd probably have to be pulled in and out of the bush by the skidder today.

But at least it's only -5!! (23F) That works for ME, anyway!!

Last weekend, we had a few skiffs of snow and on my Sunday afternoon walk, I managed to capture a fast-moving one that passed just north of us.

View over the hills in the northwest, just as I'm leaving our yard:

Just turned onto my mile road:

About a quarter mile from home:

Half a mile from home now:

A full mile from home and the little snowstorm is almost past already:

Moving off further to the south-east:

Back to about half a mile from home and the sun's out again:


Cool, eh? I thought so. Wicked windy, though.

Yesterday's walk was much nicer ~ I had to REMOVE my jacket and walk in just a T-shirt for the trip back home!!!!! My arms got cold, but I was just too warm otherwise with that sun on my back! It was 0 (32F), sunny, and almost completely calm. It's incredible how warm that sun is already, even though the air temperatures aren't. I think if the sun had its way, we'd be much closer to spring than we really are.

I'm pretty sure he's secretly on my side!

critter craziness

Wednesday was a WEIRD DAY FOR ANIMALS around here, let me tell you.

At lunch, as Fidget and I were just leaving her Nursery School to come home, we noticed two teeny-tiny dogs wandering on one of the roads in Town. This isn't unusual, but I commented and Fidget said we should probably bring them home because she was sure they were lost.

I said I thought they probably knew their way home; this was probably not the first time they'd strayed from home.

Four hours later, however, was likely the first time they'd ever strayed ONTO OUR YARD!!

I'm dead serious. Those teeny-tiny little legs had travelled the 20 km (12.5 mi) from where we'd first seen them to our front yard.

Shadow was barking his fool head off and when I looked out the window, the teeny-tiny black dog ~ which actually looked like Shadow's mini-me ~ was terrorizing him. Shameful, really, Shadow being at least 17 times the other dog's size. But, the little dog had his puffball gangsta friend cheering him on. Strength in numbers and all that.

As soon as I poked my head out the door though, the little dogs took off and then the fun really began. With my appearance, the tables had suddenly turned and Shadow and Bear became the fierce territorial protectors, bravely fending off the microscopic intruders. I was momentarily a little worried there'd be carnage.

Bizarre, eh?

There's more.

A few hours later, just as the girls were getting ready for bed, I thought I heard something outside. I shushed them and then we all heard it: a faint, pitiful meowling.

We raced to the front door and weren't sure what we were looking at. It hardly even looked like a cat. It certainly looked the worse for wear. At first, I wasn't sure I wanted to touch it in case it was quite ill, but with the girls looking on, I couldn't very well just turn my back and close the door.

I grabbed an old ratty towel and went back outside. The kitten tried feebly to get away, but its poor little body was so cold, it couldn't make its legs do what it wanted them to. The four little paws were literally chunks of ice. Shadow ~ or something else ~ obviously had it thoroughly slobbered up, so from head to toe, the little kitten was stiff and frozen. I really don't think it would have lasted much longer.

I gently wrapped it in the towel, not really believing it would survive, but wanting the girls to know we'd done our best. The poor thing was shivering so violently, it looked like a slow-motion, full-body muscle spasm every few seconds. I tried to feed it some milk with a medicine dropper, but it was just too cold to do anything.

I put the girls to bed, assuring them I'd do my best to look after the kitty, and for the next two hours, I held the shaking, shivering, little wet body on my chest. It's been an awfully long time since I've had that good an excuse to spend two solid hours in front of the TV!


By 10:00 pm, the shaking had lessened considerably and the thing was purring madly, but starting to get restless. I brought it back to the kitchen and this time, the milk in the bowl was guzzled in seconds. I refilled it and added some leftover pieces of ham from supper. That was gone in moments, too.

We spent another hour cuddling on the couch and then I took it to the back porch. I fashioned a bed out of the towel and an old jacket, turned up the space-heater a little, poured some ashes from the woodstove into a large, flat Rubbermaid lid for a makeshift litter box, and shut the house down for the night. I was impressed with how much the kitten's condition had improved.

And so now we have another kitten, which brings us back to two felines on the yard. Lucky disappeared while we were gone at Christmas, so the girls are excited to have a replacement. I'm guessing this little one is under six months old, because it still has some fairly kitten-ish features, but I can't really tell if it's a male or female ~ in our experience, the maleness {ehem} sometimes doesn't appear for several months.

I'm not thrilled about having a housecat, but until it warms up outside, I think that's the way it'll be.