>> Thursday, February 5, 2009

Okay. So.

I wallowed.
I cried.
I pitied.
I moaned and groaned and bitched and complained...

And then I'd had enough. One can only listen to that garbage for so long!!
(although interestingly, I tolerate it a lot longer when it's ME than anyone else...)

I struggled with posting my complaints. Mostly because I didn't want to appear like I was fishing for sympathy. I wasn't. I knew I'd get a lot of "we've all been there" or "I struggle with this too" and even before I hit publish, I was already resenting those types of responses a little bit.

Because this was supposed to be about ME, remember?!!
Rolling Eyes

Mostly I just needed to vent. And even though I might never have admitted out loud and in person that I was having those issues, I did so here because I also post a lot of "meeting God" type posts as well. I don't really ever talk about those in person with anyone either.

So if I'm gonna be posting stuff about God laughing at/with me, about seeing His magical touch in the world around me, I need to post about the times when I DON'T feel all that close to Him.

You know, 'cause I'm all about the KEEPIN' IT REAL.

What a wonderful thing that our relationship with God isn't about FEELINGS, but rather about faith. About relying on His promises and His presence in our lives.

I didn't read all your responses until a day later. I really wasn't interested in hearing y'all have those issues from time to time too. Clearly, I wasn't done wallowing.

But when I finally did, I was so incredibly humbled and touched by the empathy and virtual hugs I found there.

I'm happy to say that I knew when I woke up yesterday that the mood had passed, even before I read all your wonderful comments. I woke up with a definite sense of purpose yesterday ~ I had important North Winds business to attend to, a meeting with the accountant, and phone calls to make. (So it would seem that having a "to do" list isn't just good for accomplishing things, but for giving a sense of well-being as well!)

Most importantly, I was back to being content with the life I've been given. Back to focusing on the things that really make my life tick. Back to focusing on how much I really have been blessed with, rather than on the few things that I haven't been.

And I had a great day. I'm well on the way to another one.

So thank you.

Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and your virtual hugs. Thank you for listening and taking the time to respond gently when what I probably deserved was a swift kick in the pants and a

"Suck it up, Muffin!"

Thank you for leaving the butt-kicking up to me.



Technonana Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 1:52:00 PM CST  

Oh Sweet Girl, we have all been there, and then we realize just how much we have to be thankful for!! Funny how God reminds us of this sometimes!!
Love You!!1

MamaGeek @ Works For Us Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 3:43:00 PM CST  

I totally feel ya girl. But you know that this too shall pass and you are not alone. Tomorrow? It WILL be better.

The Small Scribbler Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 4:32:00 PM CST  

So it would seem that having a "to do" list isn't just good for accomplishing things, but for giving a sense of well-being as well!

Agreed! (Is that ok?)


Lisa @ Take90West Thursday, February 5, 2009 at 10:52:00 PM CST  

I am so glad you are feeling better, but I totally know what you were going through. We all feel that way, it's true, but in the end I always remember that stuff is just stuff, what matters most isn't the stuff at all! (If that makes any sense! It's late - but I wanted to comment!)

More than Survival Friday, February 6, 2009 at 6:54:00 AM CST  

I think that you made a BIG point: When we are focused on all the things we DON'T have we get in a BIG funk and then we can't see beyond ourselves and want it to be all about ME!!! ME, ME, ME, ME, ME, ME!!! We are all so selfish and self consumed by our sinful nature!!!!!!! Our flesh says MEEEEE! Thank you for being an honest person and acknowledging you are a real life HUMAN that sometimes falls to the human flesh!!!! Praise God for HIS GRACE to cover our many "moments"!!!

Here is to a great day!!!! A day of looking "OUT", a day of counting blessings, a day lived by the Spirit! Death to the flesh!!

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