>> Thursday, February 5, 2009
I moaned and groaned and bitched and complained...
And then I'd had enough. One can only listen to that garbage for so long!!
(although interestingly, I tolerate it a lot longer when it's ME than anyone else...)
I struggled with posting my complaints. Mostly because I didn't want to appear like I was fishing for sympathy. I wasn't. I knew I'd get a lot of "we've all been there" or "I struggle with this too" and even before I hit publish, I was already resenting those types of responses a little bit.
Mostly I just needed to vent. And even though I might never have admitted out loud and in person that I was having those issues, I did so here because I also post a lot of "meeting God" type posts as well. I don't really ever talk about those in person with anyone either.
So if I'm gonna be posting stuff about God laughing at/with me, about seeing His magical touch in the world around me, I need to post about the times when I DON'T feel all that close to Him.
You know, 'cause I'm all about the KEEPIN' IT REAL.
What a wonderful thing that our relationship with God isn't about FEELINGS, but rather about faith. About relying on His promises and His presence in our lives.
I didn't read all your responses until a day later. I really wasn't interested in hearing y'all have those issues from time to time too. Clearly, I wasn't done wallowing.
But when I finally did, I was so incredibly humbled and touched by the empathy and virtual hugs I found there.
I'm happy to say that I knew when I woke up yesterday that the mood had passed, even before I read all your wonderful comments. I woke up with a definite sense of purpose yesterday ~ I had important North Winds business to attend to, a meeting with the accountant, and phone calls to make. (So it would seem that having a "to do" list isn't just good for accomplishing things, but for giving a sense of well-being as well!)
Most importantly, I was back to being content with the life I've been given. Back to focusing on the things that really make my life tick. Back to focusing on how much I really have been blessed with, rather than on the few things that I haven't been.
And I had a great day. I'm well on the way to another one.
So thank you.
Thank you all for your kind words of encouragement and your virtual hugs. Thank you for listening and taking the time to respond gently when what I probably deserved was a swift kick in the pants and a
Thank you for leaving the butt-kicking up to me.